I’M FEELING A BIT MERRY THIS YEAR // I’ve always been a big Christmas girl, but last year I didn’t put up a thing for Christmas. 2023 was a lot, whew – after my brother passed and after experiencing a few other losses – I was completely wiped out. My husband agreed and together we decided that we would not put anything up. We just weren’t in the mood – and guess what, life went on. It made me realize that we can always opt-out. We don’t have to do things just because we should. Do what’s best for you and all things will follow.
Well, this year, we’ve got our mojo back a little and we started Christmas decorating in early November! That’s a record for us because we usually put our decor up on the day after Thanksgiving. This timeframe might be a bit early for some but it really lit us up and it was nice to get into the Christmas mood early on. It also made sure that we had all of the Christmas decor that we wanted before everything sold out. I remember in past years that when I started decorating in late November/early December everything that I wanted would be sold out. I didn’t feel like that this year and I love that for me.
SHOPPING WITH INTENTION // If you know me personally, then you know that I’ve always loved to shop. I remember using my “McDonalds” money to buy a cute top when I was younger and deciding to eat leftovers at home. That habit has definitely followed me into my adult years and has led me frequent impulse shopping but I’ve been trying to be more intentional in my 30s by being more thoughtful about my shopping. We all know that Black Friday kicks off weeks of sales and it can be so tempting to buy EVERY.SINGLE.THING. I’ve decided that I wasn’t buying anything this year on impulse. So I have made a list of things that I want to buy for myself and others. I plan to stick closely to that list so that I do not go over my intended budget. Additionally, I am making sure the purchases are thoughtful, of good quality and are from reputable businesses. I don’t want to buy things just to buy them anymore. I’ve had enough of buying things only for them to break or for me to get rid of them soon after. My goal is to make this a habit all year round and be super intentional and strict with how I spend.
NIA LONG AND JEEZY INTERVIEW // Nia Long and Young Jeezy had a beautiful conversation about life and healing on YouTube. It was so dope to see these public figures who are typically pretty private share a few intimate details of their lives. The interview was a gentle reminder that we are all going through something – no level of fame or celebrity status can change that. I loved watching this safe space that they created that I know will help other black men and women heal some areas of their lives. We walk around with so much hurt from things that happened to us growing up, as teenagers, young adults, etc. and sometimes we simply shove that stuff down and go through life without realizing the impact that it had on our actions, our thoughts, the way we trust or don’t trust. The interview certainly had me reflecting on moments of my life that I need to make more peace with. At one point they discuss how you must forgive people that have hurt you. They even discuss writing a list of those that they need to forgive which got me thinking that I absolutely need to do the same thing. So I shall start writing my list and release whatever hold their hurt has on me. Big or small.
GRIEF IS HEAVY AND LONG LASTING // I don’t know what it is but the colder weather sometimes brings about heavy feelings of grief for me. I’ve been spending more days thinking about and mourning the loss of my father who passed away about 13 years ago and my brother who passed away last year. It made me realize that grief isn’t ever really over and it stays with you forever. Some and most days, I’m fine but other days I’m breaking into a hot mess while doing my 10-step-skincare routine. If you’re like me and have lost someone important to you, just know that I see you and I get it.
My dad’s birthday was yesterday and he would’ve been 66. It makes me so sad to know that he passed away so young and didn’t get to grow old. I hate that he didn’t get to see me graduate from college/grad school, wasn’t there to walk me down the aisle, and won’t be able to meet my future children. I have no choice but to believe that he is in heaven watching down on me and is proud of all that I’ve accomplished in life. I do my best to keep my memories of him alive by thinking about how he talked, the things he would say, how he would say it. I don’t want to ever forget his voice. I don’t know how he came up with the nickname but he would call me Beanie or Treenie Beanie. I always thought it was so funny but I miss it. I was telling some friends the other day that between him and my mom they planted so many seeds of creativity within me. He bought me my first cameras – a polaroid, camcorder and digital camera. He made sure I had it all. I look back now and it makes so much sense why I love to take pictures and capture the moment.
ANCESTRY.COM // My latest obsession these days has been connecting my family tree. I remember drilling my aunt last year on who all of my grandparents’ siblings were because I was determined to find all my relatives. I started building my family tree on Ancestry.com and it’s been so exciting to see all of these new names of great-great aunts, uncles and cousins. It made me realize that I have sooo much family out there. This year during a Black Friday sale, my husband and I decided to buy a DNA test on Ancestry.com and really get the facts behind our biological makeup and continue the journey of finding family. The DNA kits should be here soon and I’m excited and nervous to see all that it will show us.
